A Dan, a clan, a canal: Canada!

Tonight, I am very angry at my parents. When naming a child, there are three things to consider:
  1. Will this name incur the teasing of others? Namely (pun intended), will your son Jennifer get beat up? Think of the effect you could have on little Eggbert's fragile psyche. This also includes considering the first name/last name combination. I do not know what was going on in the minds of the parents of Chris Columbus.

  2. What does the name mean? If you name your child Kennedy, you may be thinking John F. Try its origin of Cinnéidigh, the Gaelic name which means "misshapen head." Not so cool now, is it? Ask Ralph (wolf counselor) and Cameron (crooked nose) what they think of their names.

  3. Can this name be effectively used in a palindrome?

Rule #3 is where my anger originates. With the "rb" pairing (not to mention the "ecy" that precedes it), I am forever doomed. I will never be able to enjoy the sounds of friends yelling "Yo, Roy!" or the chants of "Bob bob bob!" What if I meet a woman named Norma? Will I be able to introduce myself by saying "Norma, I am Ron." No!

Interestingly, I feel this palindrome envy is the cause of the rising population. Those of us who are not blessed with a name fit for palindroming are resigned to become a simple "Dad" or "Mom". Not as exciting, but it is better than nothing, I suppose.

Just call me Dr. Awkward.

Posted by bryce on 7/4/03 at 8:10PM • linkcomment (2)

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